I went to Syracuse, so I am familiar with snow but now that I think about it I was intoxicated 85% of the time at SU, so really the snow was not such a big deal, as I was relatively unconcerned about getting to class, and someone else was always happy to do a beer run.
This snow however is killing me, it is so claustrophobic, it’s everywhere you look… there is an 8′ pile of snow on the other side of my fence, and over 6′ drifts in my backyard. Also its very cold, it’s just really very cold. I know its Maine, and its supposed to be cold, its north way north first light in The United States kind of north. Maybe I just need better boots and some long underwear. I am so not properly prepared for this shit. Well, really what am I going to do gambol about in -6 degree weather snow? Go for a run? Uch.
I am looking for ice skates, we have this lovely little skate pond on the village green. I like ice skating, I feel like a graceful swan even if I look like one of the hippos from Fantasia.
I put a post on my local “Yard Sale” facebook page, to see if I can get a used pair. So far no luck.
I have to admit that I hate read a lot of the posts, people ask ridiculous questions, they often post about their feelings towards how they feel they have been treated on the site. I don’t want to seem judgmental, maybe hate is too strong a word, I wouldn’t want anyone to think less of me because I judge these people for being unburdened by the ravages of intelligence, that’s all.
But, they get in squabbles over things people are selling things $1. One dollar! Let me tell you, you have to work hard for that dollar, you have to answer questions, wait around your house, go meet people in public places for that dollar, seems to me it would be easier to just not try to get the dollar.
They post stupid things for sale like a picture of snow labeled “FREE”, which ok fine its about as funny as a sitcom, it reminds me of the many hilarious waitstaff I encountered in LA, all of whom thought it was charming and hysterical to tell me they were out of whatever I ordered and then do a drama pauses and say just kidding, no less than 5 people did that, the roughly same amount have posted Free Snow posts.
The snow is making me mean. I am full of vitriol and tacos. Maybe it was last nights tacos, I swear processed food makes me crabby. I made regular old crunchy old El Paso tacos last night. I was lazy and I used their seasoning mix which is full of crap, and maybe I ate 2 more tacos than I should’ve. Whatever I still feel gross and bloated, like I can feel my stomach resting on the top of my thighs kind of bloated.
Speaking of gross…I have been listening to NPR while I type this and at 9 am here in Maine it turns over to classical music and the first song was the theme to Beauty and the Beast on the pan flute…I couldn’t find the window to turn it off for just long enough to make the skin between my eyes pucker. What the fuck man???
What else has happened… um a GIANT FREAKIN’ BIRD attacked the garbage we had on the back porch because our garbage can is buried under the snow… it ripped the bag apart and threw all kinds of garbage all over our back yard, leaving huge crazy bird footprints in the snow, some of that was bathroom garbage… it was not pleasant at all.
We did got the Winter Market on Saturday, that was extremely pleasant, and I bought a tiny beautiful yellow tea cup and saucer at the Flea Market. I did not buy a glass lid for one of my jars for a dollar, it seemed greedy – I mean I spent $4 for the jar, AND the dude had at least 50 of them tossed in the back of a pile in a torn box, I would’ve done .50 if he wasn’t so mean about it, he barked at me. Whatever, I bought some lovely things and chatted with a few peoples and remembered that I live in a town with others not just in my house.
Saturday’s post Farket lunch
And on Sunday I made too many pancakes with tremendous amounts of Maine maple Syrup, I love maple syrup.
Oh and , I got a mention in the paper and they used one of my recipes, on a less positive note it resulted in 0 book sales, like 0 not a one. Oh well, baby steps right????
What I need is a spa day, an entire day in a warm place being pampered and exfoliated, I need all my dead skin taken off and I need to be deeply moisturized and my toes need to be painted and shiny, I need a good hair cut and some highlights and then I will feel like a normal person. For the meantime I will DIY this weekend.
Some of the things I’ve been cooking this week:
A recipe for getting rid of Winter Mad Reds (aka my plan for Saturday)
First go out and buy yourself some flowers, beautiful ones not a few scraggly bits from the 2.99 bin at the supermarket, something that makes you coo a bit- this time of year it’s slim pickings unless you want to spend a lot, orange tulips or orange roses always do it for me.
- 1/2 cup brown sugar
- 1/2 cup kosher or coarse sea salt
- 1/2 cup coffee grounds or tea leaves
- Zest from 1 orange or equal amount of grapefruit zest
- 1 cup Neutrogena Body Oil (you can use any moisturizing oil, even olive oil)
- Optional: a few squeezes of fresh Aloe if you have it
- Mix together and put in a jar or bowl
- Put on some Missy Elliot ( the most exciting thing that happened in the past week was her at the Superbowl ….I LOVE MISSY) or whatever and dance around for a half an hour, dance hard doesn’t matter if you dance well.
- Make a very very hot cup of tea cover it with a saucer to keep it hot and take it into the bathroom.
- Get naked and get in your shower.
- Take big globs of the rub and rub it all over, BUT NOT YOUR FACE OR YOUR HAIR—elbows, knees. ankles, belly, between your toes, under your boobs if you have them, on your butt (but not in!), behind your ears.
- Get the shower really really hot
- Wash it all off, your skin should feel like slippery baby skin, and your tub will be trashed and slippery so be careful.
- Pat yourself dry, then moisturize, this the PERFECT time to shave your legs, push back you cuticles or pumice your heels.
- Hang out in the steam, put on your robe and drink your cup of tea, sit on the edge of the tub or wherever and drink it in the steamy room.
- You will have to wash out the tub, there will be bits of rub all over and it will be slippery, you should do this right off- IF you use that after shower spray, spray all over the shower when you leave the bathroom, don’t sit there breathing in that stuff.
- Go into another warm room, light a candle, wrap yourself in a blanket and do a half hour guided meditation (they are easy to find on youtube or a podcast)
- Put on warm soft clean comfortable clothes
- Stretch a lot, touch your toes and few times, arch your back, do a few sun salutations
- Pour a glass of wine
- Sit in your favorite spot (next to the flowers) and read (or reread) a book , a good one, or a magazine, something to keep you out of the real world for a bit longer.
- Order something nice for dinner ( or have some one else make it for you if you are not me and are not aggravated by helping not cook) and eat it from nice plates.
- Watch a good movie, I would pick Same Time Next Year or The Goodbye Girl (I LOVE that movie so much) or the original In-Laws with Alan Arkin (I love Alan Arkin and I love him the most in this movie he is so brilliant) or one of the better Woody Allen movies like Annie Hall or Sleeper or Broadway Danny Rose…something you’ve seen and know is good.
- Eat some dark chocolate.