I like making lists and I cannot lie

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Hello and Happy Year of the Goat… I freakin LOVE LOVE goats, I had a goat as a pet once her name was Gabby and she lived in our house, and she loved to eat everything but most of all banana chips. She was super friendly and would cuddle on the couch and chase us around the house.

One night my mother and her boyfriend at the time, Marco Vassi a well known pornographer, who oddly enough spent the last years of his life living next door to me in NYC, were having a drumming party, this being the 70’s they were rather the thing to do. At one point during the drumming a speaker fell and hit Marco in the head, an ambulance was called… when the ambulance arrived they found several people drumming and dancing in circles around a man bleeding from the head and a goat. It is a wonder child protective services were not called.

I hope everyone had the Valentines Day they wanted to have.

I finally got my hair cut, its shorter than I planned but it was very dry, its very dry here

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So V-Day was nice, Xtian bought me red roses even though I wanted orange rose and a heart shaped box of chocolates, the box of chocolates was fun because I like to take a bite out of every one and then put them back, it’s something I used to do with my Grandma Bella. She had a secret stash in the silverware drawer and every so often we’d  bite and discard chocolates and feel like Elizabeth Taylor. When they are very good chocolates I feel bad wasting them.

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I got him a bottle of bourbon and some ear plugs and a Groupon for a whiskey tasting, plus I made him a card and some special chocolates. Ok, so maybe I am just good at giving gifts but no so good at the receiving of gifts, this is a constant theme.

That night during the not blizzard we went out for Scorpion Bowls and Pu-Pu Platters which was totally fun!photo 3 photo 4

On Sunday we lay about like walruses and watched a ridiculous amount of television… including Broad City which is amazing and brilliant and I love those two crazy Jewish Girls so much!!!!

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We also watched the six hundred hour long SNL 40th anniversary show which was just really more sad than funny, the Californians skit just sucked and went on for way longer than it needed to, there was probably much smarter funnier way to get Bradley Cooper & Betty White to make out, and uch Sarah Palin that asshole, at least she looked terrible. Bill Murray was great, of course, he is the funniest person on the planet and even though I do not know he seems like a pretty great guy..a real mensch.(if you need evidence of that read THIS)

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TV watching snack
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This Week’s Menu
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Rice Bowls moved to Wed to Thurs because of Chinese New year..also we had dumplings
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Monday Nights Pizza which I changed to Zucchini & Mushroom

 

But I digress.  Lists, I LOVE to make lists.  I make shopping lists, and activities lists and things to do lists and sometimes just random lists of things like flavors of ice cream I would make if I had an ice cream shop:

  • White Chocolate Curry
  • Carrot Cake
  • Bitter Chocolate Bergamot
  • Pink Peppercorn Peppermint
  • Roasted Banana Walnut
  • Coconut Cream Pie
  • Toasted Almond/Caramelized Almonds
  • Burnt Vanilla/Pink Grapefruit
  • Honey Sherbet
  • Coffee Molasses

Sometime I make lists of words I like

  • Affenpincher
  • Stroopwaffel
  • Pamplemousse
  • Asinine
  • Uxorious
  • Strachiatella
  • Babushka
  • Luxe
  • Indubitably

Or of things that I want to fix the house

  • Repaint cabinets that blue color or something cool because I HATE THEM
  • 101326843.jpg.rendition.largest
  • BOOKSHELVES
  • Curtains every where
  • Curtains in dressing room
  • Chair in dressing room (BD couch??)
  • Do Stuff to Kitchen island(pegboard, baskets, hooks)102227743.jpg.rendition.largest
  • Throw out everything
  • Hang pictures
  • Glitter eggs

Shopping lists are my favorite, right now I have one going for a trip to Trader Joe’s, always a bit of an event because in theory there are only 5 or 6 things there that I don’t want, and only 10 or so that I actually need at any given time. And my editing skills are such that even though I know editing usually means removing items/word I always seem to end up with more…

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I have dreamed of these and now they are a reality

 

This is the practical (ish) version of the list, things we need in the house that we use or have run out of that are cheaper, better or only at Trader Joe’s

  • Olive Oil
  • Capers
  • Almond butter
  • Wine (case)-NOT 2 Buck Chuck that is total shite- however Revolution Chandonnay and Pontificus Cotes Du Rhone blends are great and LESS THAN $8 a bottle, also they have a totally drinkable German sparkling wine for like $
  • Sherry (dry)- for cooking, $4 natch
  • Vermouth (white)
  • Coconut oil
  • Pizza dough
  • Cheese – Parm, Cheddar, Mozz, Goat, String
  • Brown rice
  • Risotto Rice
  • Gerolsteiner water
  • Kale sprouts
  • Bacon
  • San Marzano tomatoes
  • Whole wheat pitas
  • Quinoa
  • Tulips

Aaaaand then there’s the other list, the stuff I want list. This stuff  that’s better at or only at TJ’s or they don’t have it at our supermarket and I’m not paying Whole Foods Prices for it…. but it’s all stuff we can do without.

  • Truffled Marcona almonds
  • Pretzel bagels
  • Hazelnut Milk
  • Dates
  • Meyer Lemons
  • Amaretti cookies
  • Ghee
  • TJ’s Salsa Verde
  • Everything Crackers
  • Frozen Dumplings
  • Frozen Scallion Pancakes
  • Frozen Shrimp
  • Frozen Artichoke Hearts
  • Frozen Wild Mushroom Mix
  • Frozen Root Veg Strips
  • Lemon Curd
  • Cara Cara Oranges
  • Tahini Sauce
  • Marscapone
  • Smoked Salmon
  • Kouign Amman

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Then there are the things I would pick up if we weren’t going to go to the regular supermarket

  • Little gem lettuces
  • Arugula
  • Juice
  • Mini Cucumbers
  • Cauliflower
  • Butter
  • Stuff for Oscar Night Hoagies ( Pickled hot peppers, mortadella, proscuitto, salami, provolone)
  • A Chicken
  • Some Fish
  • Bananas
  • Yogurt
  • Dishwashing Soap

And this is why Christian has a fucking heart attack walking through the doors, I’m at probably $250-300 which is a helluva a lot more than we usually spend on groceries, though a lot of it is pantry items that will be used throughout the next few months. I can justify anything.

In other news it’s snowing. AGAIN. And I am CRAVING cake, yellow cake with chocolate icing, and I have absolutely no reason to bake a cake like that, nor should I have one in my house and there are NO decent cupcakes of that sort available here in Brunswick, Maine.

What I Miss About Philadelphia

  • My friends….you know who you are, even if you are not in this picture.
  • mybuds1928245_71307547836_7454304_n
  • Bumping into people I like at random
  • Fresh Direct
  • The view from my deck
  • thedeckview
  • Walking to a bar, a restaurant, walking anywhere really
  • Food delivery- Chinese esp.
  • New Year’s Day
  • mummers
  • Real Pizza
  • Di Brunos & Claudios
  • The rest of the Italian Market
  • Good bread/bakeries I would kill for a eclair from Miel.
  • Green Aisle Grocer
  • SEPTA (OMFG yes, I said that)
  • Chili Bowl/Wing Bowl
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  • Restaurants
  • H&M
  • Real Tacos
  • Chinatown- Steamed pork buns, Szechwan food, noodle soups, Soup Dumplings, Dim Sum most of all
  • Abroadable-Eats-Dim-Sum
  • Pho
  • Asian Markets
  • Mexican Markets & Bodegas
  • Reading Terminal Market
  • Places that are open past 10 pm

What I don’t miss about Philadelphia 

  • Bumping into people I do not like at random, esp one who I know I would see the minute I step foot in Philly, that bitch.
  • Hearing someone vomit, hock a lugey, talk on the phone, take a piss or fight outside my window
  • The douches at Pat’s & Geno’s at all hourssnowdick
  • The Pushy-BabyCarriage-Dog situation at Filter Square Farmer’s Market
  • The number of hideous stories on local news
  • Dirt and grime
  • Street crime
  • Trash all over the sidewalks always esp. on trash dayphilatrash
  • The PLCB
  • Tumbleweaves and other interesting street garbage ( maybe I sort of miss that)
  • stuff on streetphillystreet
  • Masses of shouting pushing teenagers
  • Shitty angry people en masse
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    Philadelphia DMV
  • Foul tasting water that is never cold enough nor hot enough
  • Hard water’s result on my hair
  • $100 to get Farrah groomed (it’s $35 here)
  • That black dust in my house
  • Walking up 4 flights of stairs to get home
  • Crowds
  • Being far from the ocean
  • Pretentious bullshit
  • Car alarms
  • Violence sort of simmering underneath at all timestankonstreet
  • Traffic Noise
  • General Ugliness
  • The Smell
  • Hipsters
  • damn-hipsters

On that note I am going end this with yet another plea to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE  rate my ebook on Amazon, please its the only way other people will buy it.

The reviews that work don’t mention that you know me, because of course everyone’s friends  family say nice things about them.photo 4 (1)

This weekend I’m back at MCHPP making a zillion banana breads iwth a pack of Bowdoin Students SO EXCITED!

 

 

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